Sometimes we have childhood experiences where we make assumptions about what is happening. We filter through the only frame of reference we know. Ourselves.

That is why when parents divorce, children often assume it is their fault. When others feel disgruntled, they assume they are the cause. It is difficult for children to interpret the behavior of others in a way that is beneficial.

This also includes assumptions that lead to internal messages like, “I can never do that.” or “Why me?”

How often do you notice the voice in your head that says, “This will not change, no matter how hard I try?”

Watch your own inner voice for words like, “I always…” or “I never…” For example, “I can never do that.”

These ideas can become embedded in the psyche and live on well into our later years. These are the internal messages that make growth difficult and keep us from owning our own power.

Here are some key questions to explore when you may feel stuck.

“What do I think is blocking me?”
“Might it be from my childhood?”
“Could it be that what’s true is not what I think is true?”
“Have I come to some conclusions that may be incorrect?”
“What can I do now?”
“Am I willing to change and grow?”

Next time you are in a quandary, please explore whether a part of the struggle is stemming from an old wound or a faulty assumption.

First, we must acknowledge the problem and voice what some might call our shadow. Examine this through a new filter. Work through what may keep you trapped.

If you remain stuck, I am a firm believer in therapy to untangle the truth of a significant situation.

With maturity and guidance, we can reframe some of our deepest wounds and their subsequent impact.