This week I would like to speak of the benefits children experience once they acknowledge and address their pain.

One must name and talk about the problem before healing is possible. The ‘no talk’ rule in families can be oppressive. Counselors and therapists who are familiar with these family dynamics are invaluable.

When the Hero child does their healing work, they: 

•  learn to say no 
•  learn to delegate responsibilities 
• release their overdeveloped sense of responsibility 
•  balance their work and home life
•  become more achievement-oriented and less success-oriented 
•  let go of their need to control 
•  manage their stress effectively
•  relax, let go, and have some fun

When the Scapegoat child does their healing work, they:

• lead in more productive ways 
• experience the benefits of getting positive attention
• use their creativity to inspire others 
• express their anger in a healthier way
• take appropriate risks

When the Lost Child heals, they:

• are more involved with others 
• feel more connected with others 
• identify their feelings
• find a feeling’s vocabulary 
• interact with their family members and their peers
• become more decisive and confident and enjoy an improved self-concept

When the Mascot learns to use humor appropriately, they:

• develop a feeling’s vocabulary
• express a range of emotions 
• absorb the origins of their behavior 
• address the underlying root causes of their limiting responses 
• have a greater understanding of their pattern of behavior
• refrain from implementing their first impulse
• see the value of not making light of their circumstances

This healing benefits not only themselves but their families and their future families. If this trauma remains unaddressed, they pass it down to the next generation. One child’s work impacts the entire family.

My next blog will complete this series with suggestions for those who notice these behaviors.